Let's talk Toileting

Published on 11 May 2026 at 20:58

What's the big issue? 

Having trouble with toilet training? You're not alone! Approximately 1.5 MILLION children and young people in the UK live with barriers that prevent them from achieving toileting independence. Consequently, many children experience feelings of shame and are at a greater risk of developing unhealthy eating and drinking habits in a bid to gain control.

These children are also at higher risk of bullying, which can lead to complex trauma in later life. Some children are so greatly impacted that they may refuse to engage in essential occupations (such as school) altogether, for fear of wetting or soiling themselves publicly. The impact on children facing toileting challenges can be astronomical. 


Factors to consider:

Biological

Using the toilet is a complex motor task. It requires the ability to undress, sit, balance, rotate our trunk, rip toilet paper, and precisely wipe ourselves, and then dress again.

Psychological

The central nervous system sends signals from our bodies to our brains, telling us when we need to empty our bladder or bowels. Some people don't get as many, or any of these signals. By the time the brain has recognised a need to use the toilet, it may be too late. 

Social

Toileting can understandably be seen as 'dirty'. This can lead some children to feel shame or embarrassment about using the toilet, especially in public places. Consequently, some children will hold their bladders and bowels, increasing the risk of UTIs and bowel issues. 


Assessing & addressing toileting

The many factors contributing to toileting difficulties mean that there is no 'one size fits all' answer. So, how can we help the child develop independence? First and foremost, we need to identify which problem(s) the child is experiencing. Where appropriate, try to have an honest conversation about toileting with your child. Approach them with kindness, and reassure them that it's completely normal and that you're there to help.

If your child isn't old enough for this approach, you can seek the guidance of an appropriate healthcare professional, who can complete an assessment to ascertain the best approach for your child. 


Need some help with toileting? Find out how we can help by getting in touch. 

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